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A Letter to My Friends and Family

Printed From: ChronicPainSite.com Foundation, Inc
Category: Understanding Ourselves
Forum Name: Mental Well Being
Forum Description: Let's talk about ways to keep our attitudes positive and hopeful, and discuss ways to beat the blues, anxiety & panic attacks
URL: http://ChronicPainSite.com/mb/forum_posts.asp?TID=16838
Printed Date: Oct/15/2018 at 5:00pm


Topic: A Letter to My Friends and Family
Posted By: tkay
Subject: A Letter to My Friends and Family
Date Posted: Feb/16/2017 at 8:59pm
I have learned to accept myself as I am.

To a lot of people this is a no brainer.

To those of us who deal with chronic pain, chronic illnesses and mental health disorders it is not always so simple.
For our families it is difficult.

They and us mourn that we will no longer be what we were before whatever we are dealing with. Maybe we are not able to do the physical parts of life or maybe our brain is deteriorating. We are no longer the same person, we mourn that.

All of it is a process, a process of grieving, acceptance of ourselves being changed or this around us accepting us as we are.

It takes time. You may find you wish the person you love was the way they were before, you may try to get that person to be what they were before. Stop it, they are who they are in the present they can't be who they are in the past.


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Replies:
Posted By: Stevie
Date Posted: Feb/16/2017 at 11:09pm
Truer words were never spoken Tammie.

I have nothing to add to do justice to your words. I may only take away the importance.

I'm currently going through a very difficult time with an extremely important person in my life. And while this isn't a chronic pain issue, its most assuredly a quality of life issue. So for me, your last paragraph brought home to me that I have to accept her now as she is and not try to get her back to where she was because it's unrealistic and in the end, does nothing for either of us but to bring tension to,a situation that really only needs love and acceptance. Thank you.

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Please donate to help Chronicpainsite.com continue to help others.

My journey with chronic pain began over 30 years ago, while as a young nurse working spinal rehab, I injured my back lifting a patient. I am now fused from L2-S1. I have multiple thoracic and cervical issues. I'm a retired RN/PA and I know and understand the frustrations on both ends of the treatment spectrum of dealing with CP. It's been my goal since 2008, when we started this site, to reach out and help as many people in pain as possible. We will continue the fight as long as we can. Please, if you can help us continue to help you and others, donate. Thank you.


Posted By: Bailey
Date Posted: Feb/17/2017 at 8:03am
Well said Tammie

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DDD C3-C6 with multiple osteophytes causing both moderate foraminal and canal stenosis and flattening and impinging on the spinal cord
Cervical Facet arthritis
Chronic Pain Syndrome


Posted By: ChrisS
Date Posted: Jun/16/2017 at 2:48pm
Hi everyone,
(sorry for the long post)

I am new here. I just got done sitting in the bathroom at my office crying because I am feeling hopeless. Praying so hard that God will help me through this pain. No one at my office understands, they are all younger.

I am very thankful to find this site and feel calmer since reading this post. I left home this morning very down and trying to explain it to my husband and I think it made him feel helpless and sad. He has some form of pain off and on, but he is 8 years younger than me. He doesn't understand how pain wears you down to the point that you get numb.

I am 55 and going through perimenapause and have injuries as you all do, but recently have been diagnosed with plantar faciatis with a heel spur.  I have been trying to do everything I can that has been recommend and have PT scheduled to start in 2 weeks. I have a mytrol valve prolapse and both sides of my family have heart disease and strokes so I am cautious about taking NSAIDs. They make my heart beat irregular. So what am I do to for the inflammation and pain?

I have been trying fish oil (used to work), Wobenzyme (kinda works) and Curcumin (doesn't work).  I ice 3 times per day and that helps the most. Other parts of my body are not being effected by my limping and poor sleeping.

My brain is in a fog and I keep making mistakes. I am quickly losing my confidence at work.  I am really in uncharted territory as I have always been the strong one with a body that bounced back - now not so much.

Ok, I should stop babbling and am really looking forward to anyone's input.


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Chris S


Posted By: ChrisS
Date Posted: Jun/16/2017 at 2:54pm
Sorry, meant to say "other parts of my body ARE being effected.



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Chris S


Posted By: dbarbeau48
Date Posted: Jun/16/2017 at 4:23pm
Chris,
Sorry you are going through this but I'm glad you found this site. Remember, pain is pain no matter what the level, it takes it's toll on your body, mind, and life. If you are lucky, you will find something that will help you get through the day. The key is to not give up. You may find something that helps for awhile and than stops working.
Here's my 2 cents worth of advice. Save your money on those products that claim to help cure pain. What works for me is "activity" pure and simple. I am in the most miserable pain you can imagine every single morning when I get up. I work through the pain until life is bearable again. As long as you are not doing something against medical advice, then do it. Whether you are hitting the gym, walking, or yard work, do it. The key is to trick your mind into forgetting about your pain. Rest leads to rust.

Dick

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Five knee surgeries from 1970 to 2000. Knee replacement in 2000.Spinal stenosis surgery in May of 2002. Diagnosed with Pseudogout in 2005, effecting hands, knees, and shoulders. Emergency surgery in March of 2006 for spinal infection of L 2 and L 3. During surgery, discovered I had Cauda Equina Syndrome. Spine became unstable after surgery and had 360 fusion with 10 pedicle screws, plates and rods in April of 2007. Retired early as a high school principal. Recently, have had trigger finger surgery on both hands as well as surgery for severe bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel disease.


Posted By: ChrisS
Date Posted: Jun/16/2017 at 4:46pm
Hi Dick,

Thank you for your reply. It was nice to get some encouragement. I have other issues I didn't mention. I have been dealing with chronic pain since 2010.  I used to be in really good shape, but slowly had to give up weight lifting and yoga because of shoulder, wrist, elbow and knee issues. All my past injuries are coming back to haunt me after 50!

It's been a frustrating road. My past experience to push through the pain has created problems with other weak parts of my body.  Even my PT during my knee rahab had to write a custom program for me because what he traditionally used on other patients created on going issues for me. 

I have worked really hard to get my knee in a managable condition (slipping knee cap) along with my elbow (I am a secretary, so severe tendonitis in elbow and arthritis in my thumbs).  Anyway - I'm in the process of figuring out just "what" I "can" do for activity without creating so much inflammation that it takes days for me to recover. I work full time and walk daily, but not very far these days.  I have to walk from the parking structure to our office building and today just about did me inCry

I got sick of not being able to do yard work, so last Saturday I trimmed our tree in the back yard (20ft tree) and washed my crossover car. My foot has been so painful that I can barely put weight on it. So that was not really a smart move on my part...but the tree got trimmed!

I guess what has been hard is that I have always been really strong physically, but now my body is no longer responding or healing well. That in and of itself is doing a mental number on me not to mention I can't take NSAID's.  So pain is becoming a real issue.

Gosh, I hope this doesn't sound like excuses....I'm just frustrated.

Chris




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Chris S


Posted By: Bailey
Date Posted: Jun/17/2017 at 5:16am
Hi Chris,

Welcome. I'm really sorry to read how much pain you're dealing with. I believe medical Cannabis is legal in your state. I find great relief using a topical cream infused with cannabis. I use cannabis in lots of different ways, and it helps me more than all the opioids and pills I took for years.

Using it topically will not produce any side effects and may help your pain. CBD is also a great anti-inflammatory and doesn't cause any "high" either.

I agree with Dick, remaining active is so important. I also believe distraction is the best painkiller. When my mind is completely occupied my pain can be barely noticeable, for a minute or two. Though keeping up that level of distraction is pretty much impossible.

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DDD C3-C6 with multiple osteophytes causing both moderate foraminal and canal stenosis and flattening and impinging on the spinal cord
Cervical Facet arthritis
Chronic Pain Syndrome



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